


Lie Again (I Love You)

by leehoseucc



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Sorry, M/M, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 02:08:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20788835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leehoseucc/pseuds/leehoseucc
Summary: Lying through his teeth the way he is, isn’t his favorite pastime, but he’ll do whatever it takes to protect his best friend from something he’ll surely feel guilty over. Minghao can’t force him to fall in love and he accepted that the moment he found the first petal.Whether or not he’ll accept his inevitable death is a matter to be dealt with later.





	Lie Again (I Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> i got halfway through editing and gave up cause it's 4.5k and didn't want to wait for my beta to do it, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Minghao wakes up to a cold bed, again. Whether Wonwoo was up making breakfast or out of the apartment all together, he was never in bed and Minghao always woke up after him, even if he had to be up at 6 to meet a client.

He lays there for another 10 minutes before maneuvering his long legs onto the cold floor and digging through his dresser for a pair of boxers. There’s a chill in the air as he walks out of his bedroom, but he could care less.

His heart was already ice.

He glances at the food sitting at the breakfast bar, net placed delicately over it, and ignores it. If he cared, he’d eat it since he knew Wonwoo prepared it himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat something made by someone that didn’t care for him anymore. He did that for too many years and choked down tears every time he ate it alone.

After turning the TV on for background noise, he starts to set up to paint, but his stomach eventually betrays him and the lack of caffeine has already started to affect him, so he starts a pot of coffee and heats up the meal.

It gets a hard glare for a long time before Minghao picks up his chopsticks and digs in. The urge to cry isn’t so strong this time, but it still hurts.

Heart made of ice my ass.

Painting relaxes him and he lets himself get completely lost as krnb plays in the background. He thinks his phone might be blowing up in the other room but he couldn’t possibly bring himself to care, the task at hand had him sucked in and it would stay that way until the next time his stomach grumbled, except it never came.

There was a banging at his door, which thankfully came when he was skipping the song and not when he had brush to canvas, because it startled him. Standing up from his stool, he checks himself over before realizing he couldn’t give a fuck what he looks like to someone that’s banging on his door at 9 PM.

Except that person happened to be Wonwoo. “What the hell Hyung? I told you I’d be working on a commission all day!”

Wonwoo, sweet, quiet Wonwoo, grunts and pushes his way in, “And it’s a super important one for a high end client.” His words are slightly slurred, but Minghao knows his tolerance and ability to control himself.

“Really?! You’re fucking drunk?! We made a promise to never do that to each other!” He knows he’s shouting and he knows he needs to lower his voice but he’s just so fucking _pissed_.__

_ _The drunk Wonwoo manages to kick his shoes off and make his way to the couch, all movement done in a way that would have fooled anyone else into thinking he’s sober. “Quiet down Hao, I didn’t come here to take advantage of you, I just wanted to see you.” He waves him over and lays his head in Minghao’s lap once he sits. “I had a bad day at work and you didn’t answer my calls or texts. Hao, I know we have this arrangement, but you’re my best friend first and foremost.”_ _

_ _Minghao starts running his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair as he talks. He feels a little bad for yelling, but Wonwoo took it fine, knowing, even through his muddled thoughts, that he might be intruding and it’d be incredibly rude if he’d showed up just for sex._ _

_ _“I know that, I’m sorry for shouting. You can sleep here tonight, you’re not in any shape to go home.” Wonwoo nods, burying his face into Minghao’s thigh. Minghao sighs and sits back, resisting the urge to bounce his knee and just continuing to lull the other to sleep._ _

_ _An hour later, Minghao is still there, but he refuses to wreck his back for anyone, even Wonwoo, so carefully, he slips out from underneath him, cradling his head with one hand as he fishes around for a pillow._ _

_ _Once Wonwoo is on his own with a blanket covering him as well Minghao pads down the hall to his room, forgetting about his paint supplies that are still set up in the living room._ _

_ _He’s changing into basketball shorts when it happens._ _

_ _He coughs and doesn’t think about it, maybe Wonwoo had a cold he didn’t know about, but then he spots it._ _

_ _A delicate, pink petal, laying on the floor._ _

_ _It takes him a moment to understand where it came from. He doesn’t keep flowers in the house, not liking the kind of money that has to be spent to keep fresh ones. And then he coughs again, but catches the petal this time._ _

_ _He sinks to his knees as he stares at the seemingly innocent thing resting on his palm. _Well fuck_. So he is sick, just not in the way he thought.___ _

_ _ _ _He picks the other petal up and runs to the bathroom, stuffing them down in the waste bin. He decides right then _Wonwoo can’t know_.___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _After he’s sure he won’t cough anymore up, he crawls into bed and falls into a restless sleep with dreams full of Wonwoo and the sickly sweet scent of flowers._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He’s stirred awake by the sound of someone cooking and he knows it’s Wonwoo. What he’s cooking on his own with a hangover, he doesn’t know and at the moment, he only cares about getting to the bathroom before more petals make their way up his throat._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When he’s sure it’s over, he just sits on the bathroom floor, breathing heavily. There’s a knock at the door and a soft, “Are you okay?” Wonwoo must have heard him._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Picking himself up and fixing his appearance, he swings the door open and gives his best smile, “I’m alright Hyung, might have a cold though.” His throat is raw and his usually higher pitched voice sounds low and gruff._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo frowns and takes Minghao’s wrist, leading him to the kitchen, “Sit here while I go get some cold medicine and cough drops,” Minghao almost argues and lies about already having some, but he was out of cough drops and they’d be useful._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you Hyung, thank you for the food too.” He waits until Wonwoo has his coat on and is out the door before letting out another cough. Luckily, it’s just once and he crushes the petal in his palm before picking up his chopsticks._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The closest convenience store is quite a few blocks away as Minghao lives smack in the middle of a middle class neighborhood, plus he lives on the 14th floor of his apartment building. Wonwoo is lucky the elevator never breaks down or he would have never made it up the night before._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Minghao is laying on the sofa when he hears the pad on his door followed by the sound of it being unlocked an hour later. Wonwoo doesn’t even bother saying anything, just drops the meds onto the coffee table and ripping open the cough drops, handing Minghao one before setting them down with the cold pills._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Through the plastic, Minghao sees he got both daytime and nighttime and he feels some guilt at the fact he won’t be using either._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Thanks again, you don’t have to take care of me though.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He gets a big, genuine smile, something rare from Wonwoo, but whenever he gets one, his heart melts, “It’s the least I can do after barging in last night. I also cleaned and moved your art stuff.” Minghao hadn’t even noticed, but now he sees it’s all neatly set inside their respective containers and the painting is still on the easel in the corner._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Hyung, you’re too good to-” he’s cut off by a cough, followed by three petals that land in his lap. He quickly covers them with a sweater paw before looking at Wonwoo with watery eyes. “I love you, but I know you have dance lessons to teach and I don’t want you catching what I have.” He discreetly grabs the petals before standing up and shoving Wonwoo towards the door, “I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get better.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo stumbles out, but stops Minghao when they get to the door, turning around and letting him fall into an embrace. They’re of similar height, but Minghao buries his face in Wonwoo’s neck, letting his arms drop around the older’s waist. “I’ll stop in tonight to check on you, alright?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Minghao pulls away and looks him in the eye, “Alright.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo walk out and lets the door shut behind him, sparing one more glance as it clicks close._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Walking back into the apartment, Minghao glances at the painting he had been working on the night before and decides it’s completed enough to ship to the buyer. He had other plans, but he did what was asked and didn’t feel like doing much else on it. Instead, he moves the painting to prop it against the wall before walking to his storage closet and grabbing another pre-stretched canvas. He knows how to stretch them just fine, but it’s a pain in the ass, so every once in a while, he’ll buy one already stretched on a frame and then just reuses the frame when another one breaks or if he’s working on multiple pieces at once._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He carefully chooses the colors and mixes some new ones before setting brush to canvas. He’s there for hours, only stopping to drink water, eat small snacks, and cough up petals. He wants to finish before Wonwoo gets back, but since he doesn’t know when that is, it feels like walking on a tightrope, able to fall anytime._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When he thinks he’s finally finished, he backs off his stool and stands up to examine his work as he grabs a grape from the breakfast bar. After a couple more strokes, he’s satisfied and picks the canvas up to prop it against a wall in his room while it dries._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _An hour later, Minghao is sucking on a cough drop while lying on the sofa, meds stashed away in a drawer, when the keypad sounds again. He resists the urge to jump up to greet him and continues the sick act, although most of it wasn’t acting._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Hao! I’m back with dinner.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Minghao weakly raises him arm, give a small “Over here,” before letting if fall back down._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo strides around the couch, setting the takeout on the table before crouching down next to the couch. Before Wonwoo can touch his forehead, Minghao rushes to say he took his own temperature earlier and it wasn’t too bad._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Lying through his teeth the way he is, isn’t his favorite pastime, but he’ll do whatever it takes to protect his best friend from something he’ll surely feel guilty over. Minghao can’t force him to fall in love and he accepted that the moment he found the first petal._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Whether or not he’ll accept his inevitable death is a matter to be dealt with later._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Minghao props himself up as Wonwoo grabs chopsticks, knowing Minghao hates those disposable ones. They talk while they eat, Wonwoo constantly trying to cheer the other up in his awkward way and Minghao wishes he’d stop._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Stop caring, stop being nice, stop being such a nice guy._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Stop making him fall down that deep hole people call love._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo cleans up when they’re done, even washing the chopsticks before sitting back down and patting his lap._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You let me sleep on your lap last night, it’s my turn tonight.” He says it so seriously that Minghao can’t turn him down. Worry of petals flits in his mind, but he so desperately wants to pretend he has this happy life with Wonwoo, that he stops caring for a moment._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo drapes one arm over Minghao, rubbing circles in his stomach with thumb, as the other hand tangles itself in his hair. And they stay like that, Minghao holding back coughs and Wonwoo comforting him more than he realizes, until Minghao falls asleep, this time they’re not plagued by flowers, it’s just a memory of Wonwoo from high school._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Minghao had been a foreign exchange student with choppy, at best, Korean and Wonwoo was his tutor-turned-friend. Wonwoo was probably the main reason he decided to stay in Korea after high school._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The day of his arrival was full of confusion as he tried to piece together what he knew of the unfamiliar language coming from the staff and other students. He’d gotten lost three times and had to ask for directions each time, but the third time, he’d asked someone who didn’t even answer him, just took his wrist and led him._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When they got to the doorway of the classroom Minghao had been looking for, the stranger muttered something Minghao now knows was, “I needed to be here 5 minutes ago.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _That stranger happened to be the quiet and reserved class president, Wonwoo. Why he was late that day, Minghao never found out, and while he had been intimidated at first, Minghao soon learned Wonwoo was one of the sweetest people ever._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Even while fulfilling duties as class president, he still helped Minghao learn Korean, and if he couldn’t make it to a tutor session, he asked someone else to fill his place. Eventually, they grew close and by senior year, they confidently called each other their best friend. Most saw it the day Minghao arrived, the rest realized when Wonwoo opened up, smiled more, cracked more jokes._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The two kept to themselves and each other, but slowly allowed more people into their little world. The first was Seungcheol, who took over class president after Wonwoo. It started as questions on how to do things and ended up with Minghao inviting him to hang out when he wasn’t busy._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Along with Seungcheol came Jeonghan and with him came his younger brother Chan, and on it went until their group became thirteen instead of two. After they all graduated, they scattered a little, Jun went back to China for a few years, Seungkwan went into entertainment with Seokmin and Soonyoung. Only Wonwoo really stayed in Seoul._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When Minghao fell in love, he isn’t sure. It could have been the moment Wonwoo gently took his wrist or when Minghao came home after being dumped and cried into Wonwoo’s chest for hours when they were roommates._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Whenever it was, he’ll never regret loving Wonwoo. He might regret suggesting they be friends with benefits in an attempt to fill that hole in his chest, and maybe he’ll eventually regret not telling Wonwoo of his disease, but he won’t regret the cause of the disease._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Sunlight filters through a crack in his bedroom curtain when he wakes up, meaning it’s past noon. He sits up quickly and coughs a little when he does. He’s in his room, meaning Wonwoo carried him in here and likely slept on the couch again._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _After taking in the fact that there’s petals on his pillow, he once again has to empty his lungs, but he’s shocked when he pulls a full rose head from his throat. _The thorns haven’t developed at least_.___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _When he’s done, he grabs a hoodie and walks towards the kitchen, only sparing a glance at the painting still propped against the bedroom wall. The painting in which he was trying to hide and didn’t have time to cover. _Fuck_.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo is seated at the breakfast bar, sipping coffee and reading something on his phone when Minghao walks in, trying his best to keep his cool. “The coffee is strong,” Wonwoo starts, startling Minghao as he grabs his favorite mug, “I even took a cup to taste it.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _A laugh to cover the faulty move, “Liar, you just wanted some.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“It’s also payment for making it.” Wonwoo waits until Minghao has finished preparing his cup and sits down before continuing. “I made a doctor’s appointment for you since you were even coughing some in your sleep.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao frowns after taking a sip, “I hope it didn’t disturb you too much, I’ll go in if it makes you feel more at ease.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I couldn’t sleep most of the night, but it wasn’t your fault.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao moves to sit next to him and starts playing with his pinky, “Can I ask why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The hesitation is so clear, but after seemingly fighting with himself for a moment, he gives, “I got a call not long after you fell asleep. I hadn’t put you in bed yet, so I almost didn’t answer, but when I saw who it was, I couldn’t ignore it.” Deep breath, “One of my friends has the hanahaki disease.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Shock is all Minghao feels. “Someone you know has hanahaki? Isn’t it pretty rare though?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Babe, just because it’s rare, doesn’t mean it can’t happen to you or someone you care about.” They sit in silence after that, neither knowing what to do or say. Minghao keeps playing with Wonwoo’s pinky and eventually takes over a full hand, Wonwoo lets him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Eventually, Wonwoo gently places his hand over Minghao’s fidgeting one and softly tells him it’s time they head to his appointment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao usually gets around by bus and train, but Wonwoo has a car, which is much more luxurious and comfortable, and Wonwoo wouldn’t let Minghao get halfway across the city for an appointment on his own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The car ride isn’t eventful and there wasn’t much traffic, but they both chatter away, hanahaki pushed to the back of their brains. Minghao wants to live the remainder of his life well and Wonwoo wants to wait until his friend is dead before mourning him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo is asked to wait outside while Minghao goes through his exam, but as soon as he walks in, he has a coughing fit. He doubles over, falling to his knees as he desperately tries to rid his throat of the flowers. Nurses rush to his aid, giving him sips of water in between coughs, but they can’t do much until it’s over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He knows Wonwoo is probably trying to get to him, but when he can, he rasps out a request to keep him out. This isn’t something he needs to see._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _When he feels he’s finally done, he motions for a nurse to hand him the water again before gulping it all down. “Thank you,” he whispers as he hands it back. She takes it and walks out, presumably to refill it. When she slides the door open, Minghao catches a stressed looking Wonwoo. They meet eyes and Minghao knows he looks pathetic as he tries to lift himself up with the aid of a male nurse. The door is slid shut and the nurse says something Minghao can’t make out, but he hears a frustrated groan from Wonwoo._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _A few moments later, a doctor comes in, greeting him with a smile, but Minghao can’t find the strength to smile back or bow. The doctor takes it in stride and just starts asking questions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Clearly, this isn’t a cold, so we’ll skip the lying and avoidance of the topic at hand,” a no bullshit doctor, Minghao likes that. “Do you know what the hanahaki disease is?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“How long have you been experiencing symptoms of this disease?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He hesitates before answering, trying to make sure his memory is intact and not blurred together, “About three days.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The doctor stops short and looks at Minghao over his glasses, “You’ve had symptoms three days but you’ve already progressed this far?” A nod from Minghao, “Do you live with the person you’re in love with?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“No sir.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Did you two happen to grow up together?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Each word rasps his throat, but he refuses to cough again, “We’ve known each other since high school.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The doctor sits in a seat across from Minghao as the nurse from earlier brings in another glass of water. Minghao takes it gratefully and does his best to bow before she walks back out. He hates feeling weak like this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The doctor waits until he’s drained half the glass before continuing, “You’ve progress in three days where most progress in three weeks. If it continues to develop as it is, you’ll be dead in a month. There’s treatment, but it won’t extend your like by much, just make you more comfortable.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao sips at his water while he thinks. Unless Wonwoo suddenly falls in love with him, he can’t magically get better. “And surgery?” He inquires._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Of course, if we remove the roots from your lungs, what happens and your relationship with this person will depend on you, however, the feelings you have for this person will leave when the roots do. You’ll have to be admitted and monitored either way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao takes that in. He knew already, but now he’s facing it, making it all the more real. “Thank you, doctor. I’ll have to think about it a bit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Of course,” he smiles and leaves the room, but pauses before closing the door, “The young man from earlier, does he know?” Minghao shakes his head. “So he’s the one? Do you want to see him?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes please.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _About fifteen minutes later, when Minghao is settled into a room, a disheveled Wonwoo throws the door open before diving for Minghao. He almost throws the younger back with the force of his hug, but catches the both and opts to cradle Minghao’s head. They’re quiet for a long time, and then Minghao hears it, the sniffle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hyung, are you crying?” Wonwoo sits back and rubs his eyes before looking up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“When you started coughing, I was talking to a nurse and at first I didn’t think about it, but as it went on I realized it was you and I got really scared. It just didn’t _stop_ and they didn’t let me in either, I thought something really bad was happening.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao grips his arm reassuringly, “I’ll have to be admitted for testing and monitoring, but I’ll be okay.” The look Wonwoo gives him one mixed with pity, but it’s one that displays knowledge. “What’s wrong? I told you I’ll be okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo shakes his head and moves off the bed, crouching next to it instead. He takes Minghao’s hand and puts it to his forehead. There’s no sound except their breaths, Minghao’s shaky and short ones and Wonwoo’s steady and deep ones. “I know Hao, you don’t need to hide it anymore.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao takes his hand back, resting it in his lap as he lets it sink in, but it doesn’t. “I- What? You know what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo sits back on the floor, giving a deep sigh, “Minghao, I know you have hanahaki. I was suspecting it for a couple of days as I just picked up on small things. I found the cold medicine, but the cough drops were almost gone. When you were in the bathroom in the mornings, it sounded so clearly like coughing and not like throwing up. And it was confirmed last night when you started coughing in your sleep right after I saw the painting.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He shouldn’t have ever made that damn thing. “Hyung-” Wonwoo doesn’t stop though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I always hated leaving you in the morning like I was, which was why I always made the effort to cook breakfast, even if we couldn’t eat together, but if I had known it was hurting you so much, I would have tried to change my class times or not come over unless I had a day off, but then,” He stops as he chokes on tears, like it was his fault this happened, when it wasn’t the case. Minghao just wishes he’d shut up and stop blaming himself. “When you got sick, I figured I could redeem myself for being an asshole,-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao moves of the bed and drops to his knees in front of Wonwoo, wrapping his arms around the older’s neck, “Hyung, I never, ever, thought of you as an asshole. It’s not your fault you can’t make yourself fall in love with someone.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Neither move for a long time, Wonwoo knows Minghao won’t go through surgery without some convincing and Minghao knows he’s going to ask him to get surgery._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo forces Minghao away, which hurts like a bitch and he’s sure Wonwoo sees it, “You don’t understand, Hao, I _was_ in love with you, I loved you for years. Why do you think I proposed we sleep together to avoid one night stands or messy breakups?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao doesn’t believe it, not one bit, “You’re lying, you’re lying to make me feel better, to show me I can move on, aren’t you?” He doesn’t know why this makes him so mad. Because he’s gone through so much pain for this man and now he’s saying he used to be in love with him? Because he genuinely thinks he’s lying? Because he’s so close to dying and he’s never liked reassurance?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Confusion flashes on Wonwoo’s face as Minghao struggles with himself to calm down, “Hao-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao get to his feet, shoving Wonwoo off weakly when he tries to help, “Fuck you and your lies, I’m not buying it. It’s too fucking late to lie anyways, Wonwoo,” His voice is steadily rising and Wonwoo starts backing up, Minghao steps closer. He knows he needs to stop and lay back down before he collapses_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Why he’s blowing up, Wonwoo doesn’t know and he doesn’t know how to stop it either. “Minghao, can you calm down, please? I wasn’t lying to you, I would never do that.” Another step, “Minghao! I swear to fucking god I’m telling you the truth! I loved you and I still do but I was so insecure then and clung to you when I shouldn’t have, please, god, believe me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao stops for a moment, he feels like he’s surrounded by a hazy cloud that he can’t see through, but Wonwoo’s desperation breaks it for a moment. The cloud, likely caused by years of torturing himself, persists, and he’s surrounded again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m already sick! I fucking fell for you and I fell hard, but you want to tell me you loved me for years? What’s the fucking point! I’m gonna die because I love you and you want to help me feel better, help me move on now?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Wonwoo starts standing his ground, holding out a hand like he’s telling a dog to stay put, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minghao just barrels on, “Yes I do! I’m not a child! But do you want to know what’s worse after all of this?” He stops as another coughing fit over takes him, nurses rush in, helping him sit on the bed again. Minghao sneers and tries to shake them off, but when he can’t, he glares at Wonwoo, “I still love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> my gf accidentally told me to write hanahaki wonhao cause she didn't know what it was and that's how this was born, but i promised her fluffy wonhao in the future, so look forward to that!
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/binniestoes)


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